I am indonesian

After eleven years of living in indonesia

I can happily say that i do love living here

And yes

Im indonesian

My children are indonesian

My husband is indonesian

And so am i

I know

That may not seem like a big deal

But it is to me

Because i lived in denial for many years

My parents moved us to australia when i was a wee bub

For a better future

Which i understand and appreciate

But from an early age, i was constantly reminded how lucky i was to not be in indonesia

To be in a western country and not in asia

Thus, i grew up…


Oooh, the r word

Not so much to the people or what they looked like

But to the language

The culture

I spoke english

I was better

I looked down on all asians who couldnt speak english

Who lived in australia but practised asian customs

I was an asian, racist towards asians


The irony

And nobody told me to think otherwise

They laughed it off

And so i continued to be closed minded

And when i moved to jakarta at the age of seventeen

Oh my was i in shock

Asians. Everywhere

There was no denying who i was

But even then, it took a few years

When my son was born, my shista tak called me up from australia and asked

So tash, is he asian?

I roared with laughter

Yes, i said

And im shocked!

Acceptance is what it was

Today im proud to be an indonesian

Who was lucky enough to grow up in australia

Who is now lucky enough to live on the island of gods

I got the best of both worlds

And i will always be grateful for that.



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